Archive for the 'friends' Category

Guest Post – Gentle Ben

Published November 8, 2011 friends , guest post , inspirational , Kids Leave a Comment
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Parenting can be frustrating, scary, exhausting, puzzling, funny, surprising, …  OMG did he just put that in his mouth?…where are the diapers?…did you bring the bottles?…is the baby still on top of the car?…we don’t know what we are doing?…is there a manual for this?…how did she just get online, she is only two years old?… I love you daddy… eight years old is too young for a phone… clean your room…high school, what happened to grammar school?  dating?…a car?… you are not wearing that… be in by 10pm… be careful…  college, what happened to high school?… I am too young to be a grandparent… I am too old for all of this.
And although we teach them what they need to know to get older, they teach us what we need to know to get older.  (Think about that for a while)
Tom
Gentle Ben  by Paul Buisson
First let me say that my son Ben is a very unique child.  He is hard to physically hurt.  He is average height/weight with a muscular build.  He has more personality in his pinky finger than the entire British Isle.  He is all boy.  Physically strong and very sensitive to others.  Just a wonderful child.  People gravitate to him.  You cannot help it.  One of the best things you can say about Ben is that, He makes us all smile – all the time.  I admire so much in him and his potential is limitless.  One of those who can get through this life with a wink and a smile, but I don’t think that will be good enough for him.  He has high ideals. OK, enough about me gloating over my boy.
This story takes place when Ben is 4 years old.  Ben attends Pre-K 4 at Our Lady of the Lake School.  He is not an aggressive child, and would rather share and involve everyone than be in charge.  He is average in height and weight in his class.  But Ben’s teacher has reported that she has seen Ben carrying two or three of his classmates around on his shoulders at recess, and he always checks to make sure no one is hurt.  He is friends with all kids in his class and never says a negative word about anyone.  Even when the teacher shares information about an event with us, Ben will not say a negative word about anyone.   He will politely say things like, “well Daddy, Billy was having a bad day and he was sad a lot”, when we press him. We like the fact that Ben sees people for what and who they are, but only carries the good around.
Every evening at dinner time we sit as a family and discuss the day.  TV during dinner is not allowed and everyone is encouraged to be active participants in the discussion.
On this particular evening, Claire and Mom got up from the table to start doing dishes.  Ben and I sat and kept talking about what happened that day at school.  When I asked him if anything unusual happened today, he sat back in his chair and said, “Connor punched me in the stomach today.”  To my shock he was not upset.  Ben doesn’t mind the physical hit, but I thought it would bother him on an emotional .  “Did it hurt?” I asked.  “Not really” said Ben.  I asked him what did he do after that.  Ben said “nothing, the teacher saw him and he got in trouble.”  Good!  I thought.  I asked Ben if he wanted to hit him back and Ben said, “No.” I then asked Ben rhetorically, “do you know why you didn’t hit him back?”  He stared at up at me, and I continued “because you are super stro…” he started shaking his head “no” at me.  I was going to tell him that he didn’t hit him back because he is super strong and would probably inflict so much damage to Connor that Connor would have to go to the hospital.  But before I could stroke his ego with my tale of “Super Ben” he humbly cut me off.  He said, “Nah Dad, I didn’t hit him cause I’m a good guy, that’s all.”
WOW!  That answer was so much better than mine!
I was hoping the girls were slicing onions in the kitchen so I could explain my tears, but that was not happening.  Ben sat and watched me patiently, he waited for me to get it together for him.  He had more to say.  When I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath, Ben started again.  Ben said that without anyone looking, he went and gave Connor a hug while Connor was in time out for the hitting incident.  He also said that his teacher asked him about Connor hitting him and he said, “I told her it was an accident so he could play at recess, he’s my friend.”

And that is: The Bembreneth Way

The Quest for the Trilobite

Published August 18, 2011 fossils , friends , inspirational , Kids , quest , Uncategorized Leave a Comment
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The ultimate goal

In this day and age of the virtual computer world of video games, most “adventures” are relegated to sitting in front of a monitor and manipulating animated characters via some sort of hand held controller.  Gone are the days of children playing outside and acting out their fantasies of being a professional athlete, a professional dancer, a super hero, or even a world-famous archeologist. These can now be done indoors, online, and with other people that they never physically interact with.

And while the hand-eye coordination and finger dexterity of these virtual world conquerors makes even a jet fighter pilot green with envy, there is still nothing better than getting outside and seeing, hearing, and feeling the real world.

I re-discovered this point thanks to my 12-year-old daughter Jenna and her friend. While the two of them were walking down our gravel filled lane, Jenna’s friend happened to look down and spot a rock with what appeared to be an impression of a sea shell embedded in it. They brought it to me with great excitement and bewilderment.  I stared at it shocked and amazed.  This looked like a perfect fan-shaped fossil impression of a clam.

While they ran back outside to look for another one, I looked on the Internet for information about Louisiana fossils. To my surprise, most gravel comes from a huge rock strata formation in upper Louisiana and contains rock that is millions to hundreds of millions of years old. And it contains a variety of fossilized organisms including snails, clams, corals, insects, and my all time favorite, the trilobite.

At this point, I was hooked.  The quest for the trilobite was on.  When I told the girls about how old the fossils were and what other fossils to look for, their excitement grew even stronger. I told them the ultimate glory would go to the one who found a trilobite.

So there we were. Three of us sitting in the lane feverishly looking through gravel and trying to become a world-famous archeologist by finding a trilobite.  At one point, I stopped and remembered my childhood.  My friends and I spent many hours and dug many holes underneath our cinder- block raised houses in New Orleans.  We wanted to find dinosaur bones and become famous.  All we found were bones of recently dead animals. And if we dug too deep, we would hit water.  And now, here I was with my daughter and her friend, and we were finding fossils basically in my driveway.

Although we did not find a trilobite, we did find other fossilized shells, corals, and wood. But the quest for the trilobite goes on.

This is a wonderful thing to do ” WITH”  your kids.  It is fun, interactive, and educational all in one.  And you can still include the computer to look up what you find.  To recap: fun, time with your kids, educational, outside, and can involve the computer.  Parents, you can’t beat that!

Go to this website for more information on Louisiana gravel fossils  http://appl027.lsu.edu/MNSEducation/Saturday/Hunting%20for%20Fossils%203.pdf

Though computers are a wonderful thing for all of us, don’t forget there is a whole world outside of the computer also.  And it is amazing, especially when you see it through your child’s eyes.
And that is: The Bembreneth Way

First shell found.
Second shell found.
fossilized corals

Always together

Published April 16, 2011 animals , friends , inspirational Leave a Comment
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Buddies to the end they were.  That’s right, never apart.  They were always together, always.  They walked along the banks of the Mississippi river
together.  They hung out on the side of the road together.  They sat outside of the college
classrooms together hoping to get the attention of cute girls, even barked at
a few. If you saw one, the other was sure to be around somewhere.

Dogs they were. Real live canines, with four paws and a tail.  They were mutts, one brown and one black.  They liked to chase the Shetland ponies on a pasture where I worked. I let them do it.  Sometimes I would even join in on the chase.  It was fun for us all, but I tired easily.  Not them.  After they wore
us out, they would cross the street and chase the birds along the river. They were always together, always.

They were always together, never one without the other, always.  They enjoyed each others company.  No, they relished it. Sometimes they would just stand by the side of the road and watch the world go by, one looking this way, the other looking that way. Life was good, and they would always be together, always.

I saw them every day for about a year and a half.  I was in college and
worked for veterinary science.  We were in charge of a few pastures, and I
would go out and check them in the mornings. And always, there were the
buddies, my buddies. They were usually standing on the side of the road,
river road it was called, making sure the day started off in the correct way. They were always together, always.

One day as I drove into the pasture, I noticed only one standing, the
black one.  And he was more in the road than on the side of it. Well, I guessed, the other one must be close by.  After ten minutes, I still did not see the brown one.  I went over to investigate. As I got closer, I realized that the brown dog was there. But he was lying in the street.  He’d been hit by a car. It looked like he was dead, but I couldn’t tell for sure.  As I got closer, I realized he was dead. The black dog tore after me and would not let me get any nearer to them. He was protecting his buddy, as always.

All day and night he stayed with his buddy.  He would not leave his side. And he would not let anyone near him.  When cars drove around them,  they got barked at and chased.   People that knew them and tried to help also got barked at and chased.  So we stood by, helpless and in awe.  They were always together, always.

The next morning I drove out to check on them.  I could still see them.  But apparently a car driving in the night could not. It looked like the black one had gotten hit, but he was alive long enough to drag himself back to his
buddy.  And there they lay together forever…still.  They would always be together, always.

I’ll never forget my “buddies” for as long as I live.  The lessons learned from this experience are many.  Humans do not have exclusive rights to “Best Friends For Life” status.   And we need to learn more about our role in this world.  People talk of discovering intelligent life on other planets.   I say we also need to discover the “other” intelligent  life that is on this planet.   Who knows, we may learn about sticking together.

Ever since the beginning, we are now, and ever shall be always together, always.

And that is:  The Bembreneth Way

Tom Harvey

May 2024
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