Posts Tagged 'kids'

Guest Post – Gentle Ben

Published November 8, 2011 friends , guest post , inspirational , Kids Leave a Comment
Tags: , , , ,
Parenting can be frustrating, scary, exhausting, puzzling, funny, surprising, …  OMG did he just put that in his mouth?…where are the diapers?…did you bring the bottles?…is the baby still on top of the car?…we don’t know what we are doing?…is there a manual for this?…how did she just get online, she is only two years old?… I love you daddy… eight years old is too young for a phone… clean your room…high school, what happened to grammar school?  dating?…a car?… you are not wearing that… be in by 10pm… be careful…  college, what happened to high school?… I am too young to be a grandparent… I am too old for all of this.
And although we teach them what they need to know to get older, they teach us what we need to know to get older.  (Think about that for a while)
Tom
Gentle Ben  by Paul Buisson
First let me say that my son Ben is a very unique child.  He is hard to physically hurt.  He is average height/weight with a muscular build.  He has more personality in his pinky finger than the entire British Isle.  He is all boy.  Physically strong and very sensitive to others.  Just a wonderful child.  People gravitate to him.  You cannot help it.  One of the best things you can say about Ben is that, He makes us all smile – all the time.  I admire so much in him and his potential is limitless.  One of those who can get through this life with a wink and a smile, but I don’t think that will be good enough for him.  He has high ideals. OK, enough about me gloating over my boy.
This story takes place when Ben is 4 years old.  Ben attends Pre-K 4 at Our Lady of the Lake School.  He is not an aggressive child, and would rather share and involve everyone than be in charge.  He is average in height and weight in his class.  But Ben’s teacher has reported that she has seen Ben carrying two or three of his classmates around on his shoulders at recess, and he always checks to make sure no one is hurt.  He is friends with all kids in his class and never says a negative word about anyone.  Even when the teacher shares information about an event with us, Ben will not say a negative word about anyone.   He will politely say things like, “well Daddy, Billy was having a bad day and he was sad a lot”, when we press him. We like the fact that Ben sees people for what and who they are, but only carries the good around.
Every evening at dinner time we sit as a family and discuss the day.  TV during dinner is not allowed and everyone is encouraged to be active participants in the discussion.
On this particular evening, Claire and Mom got up from the table to start doing dishes.  Ben and I sat and kept talking about what happened that day at school.  When I asked him if anything unusual happened today, he sat back in his chair and said, “Connor punched me in the stomach today.”  To my shock he was not upset.  Ben doesn’t mind the physical hit, but I thought it would bother him on an emotional .  “Did it hurt?” I asked.  “Not really” said Ben.  I asked him what did he do after that.  Ben said “nothing, the teacher saw him and he got in trouble.”  Good!  I thought.  I asked Ben if he wanted to hit him back and Ben said, “No.” I then asked Ben rhetorically, “do you know why you didn’t hit him back?”  He stared at up at me, and I continued “because you are super stro…” he started shaking his head “no” at me.  I was going to tell him that he didn’t hit him back because he is super strong and would probably inflict so much damage to Connor that Connor would have to go to the hospital.  But before I could stroke his ego with my tale of “Super Ben” he humbly cut me off.  He said, “Nah Dad, I didn’t hit him cause I’m a good guy, that’s all.”
WOW!  That answer was so much better than mine!
I was hoping the girls were slicing onions in the kitchen so I could explain my tears, but that was not happening.  Ben sat and watched me patiently, he waited for me to get it together for him.  He had more to say.  When I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath, Ben started again.  Ben said that without anyone looking, he went and gave Connor a hug while Connor was in time out for the hitting incident.  He also said that his teacher asked him about Connor hitting him and he said, “I told her it was an accident so he could play at recess, he’s my friend.”

And that is: The Bembreneth Way

Guest Post – One Father to Another

Published November 2, 2011 guest post , inspirational , Kids Leave a Comment
Tags: , , , ,

Through a Child’s Eyes   by Paul Buisson
Tom, as you know, there is a wonderful world out there to be experienced.  You do not have to travel or know everything that is happening to experience it.
Everyone on this planet has the opportunity to experience life, as there is Courage, Honor and Virtue in EVERYTHING.  No matter the scale.

Everyone has something to contribute to this world, and we can all learn something from each and everyone of us.  These things we learn in life, these things we care about, and these things we believe in… People are basically GOOD.  Money, power and prestige mean NOTHING.  Good ALWAYS triumphs over evil, and most of all, that TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES.  These are all topics worthy of discussion, reinforcement and or exploration.

I do not force my religious beliefs on any one, so do not take this as a sermon, but I personally believe that; “unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like the child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”  Many times in life, it is from the child we learn the most from.  The innocence and direct approach children can sometimes take, will provide you with a new look on a situation or just have you marvel in their wonderment.  All in all, it is the child who helps us, poor, lost adults lay to rest the question of our existence.  At least for a little while anyway.
As one father to another, I will share with you two true stories of how my own children touched me, taught me and shown me a better way to life.  I hope you enjoy them and find them as moving as I do.  Again, these are direct personal accounts of my marvelous children, their brilliant minds and tender hearts.  Mine are so special to me.
And I know you have your own children, who are equally special, equally amazing, and most of all, equally deserving of love.
Claire Bear
In May 2008, my wife and I took our two children (at that time, Ben age 2 and Claire age 4) to California.  We went to visit my wife’s parents in Santa Ana, CA.  We were also motivated to get there in time to allow the children to meet their great grandmother.  She was 87, and after my wife dissected recent phone calls, she felt she was beginning to slow down her activities and become somewhat confused.  Thus, off to sunny California we went.
We arrived early and spent a considerable amount of time visiting with family and friends.  We went to their great grandmother’s (Grammy) home.  Grammy gave us the five room tour of her house and grounds.  She was especially attentive to my daughter Claire, directing most of her discussion directly towards her.  I have to say, Claire was a pro.  She listened to Grammy’s every word and gave her full attention, even though she did not know (or care) what she was being told.  I realized Claire did this out of respect for her Great Grandmother, and the overwhelming pride I felt for Claire was enlightening even to me.
The time flew by for my wife and me.  For her, catching up with friends and loved ones, as well as seeing “the old” places.  For me, loading the kids/car (actually we had rented a red mini van, one of my prouder moments) unpacking them, carrying the people and equipment in.  Then 45 minutes later, carrying the people and equipment out and re-loading the van.  I was exhausted, my wife felt nostalgic and both of my kids were confused.  Who were all these strange people?  Did we fly here for this?
Another two days of this and the kids (as well as myself) were ready to melt down.  So, we decided to take them to Disney Land for the next two or three days.  It was 45 minutes from my in-laws home.  The kids were thrilled to learn that we did not fly out here just to eat and talk.  Something was being done!  We were going to Disney Land!
We enjoyed Disney thoroughly.  Even though both kids were too small for most of the rides, we were still able to see a lot of attractions, and the kids didn’t even know what they may have missed.  It was a good time for all.  Every evening we left exhausted with aches in our backs and knees, yet very happy.   We would do it again and again without hesitation just to see their faces, share their joy and never complain as these are “the good aches”.  The kids sleeping on the shuttle to the car, hats, t-shirts, candy bags to unpack and load, just an awesome time everyday!
On the last day that we were there, as dusk fell, we sat on Main Street USA waiting for the parade and fireworks show to begin.  Knowing my kids, from New Orleans, would be disappointed with a parade that doesn’t throw anything, I reminded Claire that we needed to get one last souvenir before the park closed.  I took her into a store to get a stuffed animal souvenir while my wife and Ben held our spot for the parade.
In the store my daughter was an angel.  Knowing she was getting something made her especially sweet and caring.  She picked out a stuffed animal for herself, then proceeded to conduct a long and thoughtful search for another one, for her brother, Ben.  After getting “just the right one” for herself and Ben, Claire and I stood in the long line and waited to check out.
There must have been ten or twelve people in line, and directly in front of us was an older (about 70) couple with what looked like a gift for their grandchild.  They were neat, very polite and mostly quiet.  Enduring the crowded store and long line with patience and tolerance only obtained through time and experience, they turned and smiled at my daughter holding the two stuffed animals so close.    I could see the love they had in their eyes, for all children, by they way they looked at Claire.  They reminded me that others too, have so much hope for this world.  That it may not be as cold and lonely as we make it seem sometimes.   I smiled and quietly admired them.
The line moved very slowly (I think it is Disney’s way to make you shop more).  We were still five or six people away from the register when another older woman walked by and recognized the couple in front of us.  Having nothing else to do but eavesdrop on their conversation, Claire and I listened to them catch up on recent events and life changes.  At one point the woman said to the couple, “did you hear about Frank?”.  The mood changed suddenly.  They both replied at the same time that they did her about Frank.  And they all remarked how sad it was that Frank passed away only 3 months after his wife died.  They commented that his wife “Margie” was sick for so long, and that Frank did such a great job of taking care of her.  We also heard that Frank was always in great physical shape, never took medication, exercised regularly and always ate right.  The elderly gentleman commented that they thought Frank would out live them all by twenty years.  The mood among the trio was very sad, and they all looked down and shook their heads in disbelief.  The woman said goodbye, and they parted when the line moved ahead towards the register.  You could feel the sadness in the air from their conversation and on their faces.
As the couple moved closer towards the register and before I could move into the space in line they vacated, my four year old Claire looked at me and said, “Daddy, why are they so sad?  Don’t they know what LOVE is?”
Then after looking towards them again, she turned back to me and said, “they should be happy for Frank.”
Rarely am I ever truly speechless.  This was a rare time indeed.
As I fought back my watery eyes and struggled to swallow the lump in my throat, I said, through a very cracked voice, ” I’m sure they do baby, but they probably miss him real bad.”  This was enough of an answer to make her ponder and stop quizzing me aloud, but I feared I would still not regain myself in time to rebuff another round of her questions.
I wiped my eyes and actually pretended to yawn, so people would not be drawn to this mushy Teddy Bear and his daughter in line.  Inside, I was a whirlwind of emotion.  My God, how does this 4 year old have such insight?  I am in big trouble.  If she is thinking at this level now…
Then a wave of pride/love for this person I helped create came over me and the beauty and grace that she is capable of displaying was awe inspiring.  I was truly overwhelmed.  I thought I did a good job of holding myself together though.
The older couple had just finished their transaction and as we approached the counter, the couple both turned and approached Claire and I with watery eyes and big smiles. Then the older gentleman said to Claire, “being so old and thinking about death more and more, we fear what may be lost, but thank God there are angels like you to remind of us that there is beauty in death and love is everlasting.”  They both kissed Claire on her forehead.
To this day I still do not recall what I paid for those stuffed animals.

And that is: The Bembreneth Way

Next week – Gentle Ben

The Quest for the Trilobite

Published August 18, 2011 fossils , friends , inspirational , Kids , quest , Uncategorized Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

The ultimate goal

In this day and age of the virtual computer world of video games, most “adventures” are relegated to sitting in front of a monitor and manipulating animated characters via some sort of hand held controller.  Gone are the days of children playing outside and acting out their fantasies of being a professional athlete, a professional dancer, a super hero, or even a world-famous archeologist. These can now be done indoors, online, and with other people that they never physically interact with.

And while the hand-eye coordination and finger dexterity of these virtual world conquerors makes even a jet fighter pilot green with envy, there is still nothing better than getting outside and seeing, hearing, and feeling the real world.

I re-discovered this point thanks to my 12-year-old daughter Jenna and her friend. While the two of them were walking down our gravel filled lane, Jenna’s friend happened to look down and spot a rock with what appeared to be an impression of a sea shell embedded in it. They brought it to me with great excitement and bewilderment.  I stared at it shocked and amazed.  This looked like a perfect fan-shaped fossil impression of a clam.

While they ran back outside to look for another one, I looked on the Internet for information about Louisiana fossils. To my surprise, most gravel comes from a huge rock strata formation in upper Louisiana and contains rock that is millions to hundreds of millions of years old. And it contains a variety of fossilized organisms including snails, clams, corals, insects, and my all time favorite, the trilobite.

At this point, I was hooked.  The quest for the trilobite was on.  When I told the girls about how old the fossils were and what other fossils to look for, their excitement grew even stronger. I told them the ultimate glory would go to the one who found a trilobite.

So there we were. Three of us sitting in the lane feverishly looking through gravel and trying to become a world-famous archeologist by finding a trilobite.  At one point, I stopped and remembered my childhood.  My friends and I spent many hours and dug many holes underneath our cinder- block raised houses in New Orleans.  We wanted to find dinosaur bones and become famous.  All we found were bones of recently dead animals. And if we dug too deep, we would hit water.  And now, here I was with my daughter and her friend, and we were finding fossils basically in my driveway.

Although we did not find a trilobite, we did find other fossilized shells, corals, and wood. But the quest for the trilobite goes on.

This is a wonderful thing to do ” WITH”  your kids.  It is fun, interactive, and educational all in one.  And you can still include the computer to look up what you find.  To recap: fun, time with your kids, educational, outside, and can involve the computer.  Parents, you can’t beat that!

Go to this website for more information on Louisiana gravel fossils  http://appl027.lsu.edu/MNSEducation/Saturday/Hunting%20for%20Fossils%203.pdf

Though computers are a wonderful thing for all of us, don’t forget there is a whole world outside of the computer also.  And it is amazing, especially when you see it through your child’s eyes.
And that is: The Bembreneth Way

First shell found.
Second shell found.
fossilized corals

Ba la loon and kids growing up

Published April 11, 2011 Kids Leave a Comment
Tags: , ,

In this day and age of unbelievable technology and instant gratification, it is still easy to miss out on the little things in life.  We get so caught up in learning new things and being in touch with the whole world, we tend to miss what is right in front of us.  For those of us with kids, never lose touch of  those past moments with them.  And strive to have  more of those moments in the present and future.  They need it, and so do we.

Please listen to the following song and never forget those times.

And that is:  The Bembreneth Way

Tom Harvey

May 2024
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 6 other subscribers

Archives