Posts Tagged 'elderly'

Guest Post – One Father to Another

Through a Child’s Eyes   by Paul Buisson
Tom, as you know, there is a wonderful world out there to be experienced.  You do not have to travel or know everything that is happening to experience it.
Everyone on this planet has the opportunity to experience life, as there is Courage, Honor and Virtue in EVERYTHING.  No matter the scale.

Everyone has something to contribute to this world, and we can all learn something from each and everyone of us.  These things we learn in life, these things we care about, and these things we believe in… People are basically GOOD.  Money, power and prestige mean NOTHING.  Good ALWAYS triumphs over evil, and most of all, that TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES.  These are all topics worthy of discussion, reinforcement and or exploration.

I do not force my religious beliefs on any one, so do not take this as a sermon, but I personally believe that; “unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like the child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”  Many times in life, it is from the child we learn the most from.  The innocence and direct approach children can sometimes take, will provide you with a new look on a situation or just have you marvel in their wonderment.  All in all, it is the child who helps us, poor, lost adults lay to rest the question of our existence.  At least for a little while anyway.
As one father to another, I will share with you two true stories of how my own children touched me, taught me and shown me a better way to life.  I hope you enjoy them and find them as moving as I do.  Again, these are direct personal accounts of my marvelous children, their brilliant minds and tender hearts.  Mine are so special to me.
And I know you have your own children, who are equally special, equally amazing, and most of all, equally deserving of love.
Claire Bear
In May 2008, my wife and I took our two children (at that time, Ben age 2 and Claire age 4) to California.  We went to visit my wife’s parents in Santa Ana, CA.  We were also motivated to get there in time to allow the children to meet their great grandmother.  She was 87, and after my wife dissected recent phone calls, she felt she was beginning to slow down her activities and become somewhat confused.  Thus, off to sunny California we went.
We arrived early and spent a considerable amount of time visiting with family and friends.  We went to their great grandmother’s (Grammy) home.  Grammy gave us the five room tour of her house and grounds.  She was especially attentive to my daughter Claire, directing most of her discussion directly towards her.  I have to say, Claire was a pro.  She listened to Grammy’s every word and gave her full attention, even though she did not know (or care) what she was being told.  I realized Claire did this out of respect for her Great Grandmother, and the overwhelming pride I felt for Claire was enlightening even to me.
The time flew by for my wife and me.  For her, catching up with friends and loved ones, as well as seeing “the old” places.  For me, loading the kids/car (actually we had rented a red mini van, one of my prouder moments) unpacking them, carrying the people and equipment in.  Then 45 minutes later, carrying the people and equipment out and re-loading the van.  I was exhausted, my wife felt nostalgic and both of my kids were confused.  Who were all these strange people?  Did we fly here for this?
Another two days of this and the kids (as well as myself) were ready to melt down.  So, we decided to take them to Disney Land for the next two or three days.  It was 45 minutes from my in-laws home.  The kids were thrilled to learn that we did not fly out here just to eat and talk.  Something was being done!  We were going to Disney Land!
We enjoyed Disney thoroughly.  Even though both kids were too small for most of the rides, we were still able to see a lot of attractions, and the kids didn’t even know what they may have missed.  It was a good time for all.  Every evening we left exhausted with aches in our backs and knees, yet very happy.   We would do it again and again without hesitation just to see their faces, share their joy and never complain as these are “the good aches”.  The kids sleeping on the shuttle to the car, hats, t-shirts, candy bags to unpack and load, just an awesome time everyday!
On the last day that we were there, as dusk fell, we sat on Main Street USA waiting for the parade and fireworks show to begin.  Knowing my kids, from New Orleans, would be disappointed with a parade that doesn’t throw anything, I reminded Claire that we needed to get one last souvenir before the park closed.  I took her into a store to get a stuffed animal souvenir while my wife and Ben held our spot for the parade.
In the store my daughter was an angel.  Knowing she was getting something made her especially sweet and caring.  She picked out a stuffed animal for herself, then proceeded to conduct a long and thoughtful search for another one, for her brother, Ben.  After getting “just the right one” for herself and Ben, Claire and I stood in the long line and waited to check out.
There must have been ten or twelve people in line, and directly in front of us was an older (about 70) couple with what looked like a gift for their grandchild.  They were neat, very polite and mostly quiet.  Enduring the crowded store and long line with patience and tolerance only obtained through time and experience, they turned and smiled at my daughter holding the two stuffed animals so close.    I could see the love they had in their eyes, for all children, by they way they looked at Claire.  They reminded me that others too, have so much hope for this world.  That it may not be as cold and lonely as we make it seem sometimes.   I smiled and quietly admired them.
The line moved very slowly (I think it is Disney’s way to make you shop more).  We were still five or six people away from the register when another older woman walked by and recognized the couple in front of us.  Having nothing else to do but eavesdrop on their conversation, Claire and I listened to them catch up on recent events and life changes.  At one point the woman said to the couple, “did you hear about Frank?”.  The mood changed suddenly.  They both replied at the same time that they did her about Frank.  And they all remarked how sad it was that Frank passed away only 3 months after his wife died.  They commented that his wife “Margie” was sick for so long, and that Frank did such a great job of taking care of her.  We also heard that Frank was always in great physical shape, never took medication, exercised regularly and always ate right.  The elderly gentleman commented that they thought Frank would out live them all by twenty years.  The mood among the trio was very sad, and they all looked down and shook their heads in disbelief.  The woman said goodbye, and they parted when the line moved ahead towards the register.  You could feel the sadness in the air from their conversation and on their faces.
As the couple moved closer towards the register and before I could move into the space in line they vacated, my four year old Claire looked at me and said, “Daddy, why are they so sad?  Don’t they know what LOVE is?”
Then after looking towards them again, she turned back to me and said, “they should be happy for Frank.”
Rarely am I ever truly speechless.  This was a rare time indeed.
As I fought back my watery eyes and struggled to swallow the lump in my throat, I said, through a very cracked voice, ” I’m sure they do baby, but they probably miss him real bad.”  This was enough of an answer to make her ponder and stop quizzing me aloud, but I feared I would still not regain myself in time to rebuff another round of her questions.
I wiped my eyes and actually pretended to yawn, so people would not be drawn to this mushy Teddy Bear and his daughter in line.  Inside, I was a whirlwind of emotion.  My God, how does this 4 year old have such insight?  I am in big trouble.  If she is thinking at this level now…
Then a wave of pride/love for this person I helped create came over me and the beauty and grace that she is capable of displaying was awe inspiring.  I was truly overwhelmed.  I thought I did a good job of holding myself together though.
The older couple had just finished their transaction and as we approached the counter, the couple both turned and approached Claire and I with watery eyes and big smiles. Then the older gentleman said to Claire, “being so old and thinking about death more and more, we fear what may be lost, but thank God there are angels like you to remind of us that there is beauty in death and love is everlasting.”  They both kissed Claire on her forehead.
To this day I still do not recall what I paid for those stuffed animals.

And that is: The Bembreneth Way

Next week – Gentle Ben


Tom Harvey

May 2024
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